August 5, 2018

See Me


  1. Tash, the silence has been long but you're not forgotten for me.

    I thought of you the other day when I read this:

    I wonder how much they know. I wonder if they're right. I've never forgotten what you invested in your sons - bed rest and so much more. I think you know your body better than anyone. I think what you did made a difference.

    Catherine W. and I were talking about the "old days" - all the people we missed from that time. Ten years ago, nine, eight, seven, six. Your name was there. I've never lost that place in my heart for you and Liam.

    I thought and thought of all of you while that mother carried her baby to the surface.

    Yes, see. Please see these children - and remember. Don't act like nothing happened. That mother said so much with her precious burden. Don't forget. Don't let go.

    Love to you, Tash. Love to you and Liam and Leif and your husband. My heart is near to you even if my house is far.

    xo Cathy in Missouri

    1. Thank you Cathy, for thinking of me and remembering. Your messages always make me teary. Every day I remember, quietly. Its lonely. But then a message from you- which i have read over and over and it makes my heart so happy to know that you remember him. Love to you dear Cathy in Missouri xx

  2. Oh, Tash. This --

    You go on by doing the best you can. You go on by being generous.
    You go on by being true. You go on by offering comfort to others
    who can't go on. You go on by allowing the unbearable days to pass
    and by allowing the pleasure in other days. You go on by finding a
    channel for your love and another for your rage.

    - cheryl strayed


    I've left your page open all week.

    By allowing the unbearable days to pass -- yes. No choice.

    Rage is still looking for its channel. I'm not sure there is such a thing, that there is any place for it to settle. I think it's gone but back it stalks and threatens to drown me.

    I never was this angry or this lost, not before. But what is the way out?

    Or through.

    My husband never asks why. His only question is how.

    How to go on now, today. Tomorrow is too far ahead and yesterday too far back.

    You might not guess how much your words - your thoughts - your artwork - your being *you* right where you are - matter to one small person struggling

    and mostly feeling


    much love to a friend, which you certainly are

    xo CiM

    1. We are alone together dear friend. I'm thinking of you, through this season, sending love from Montréal to you in Missouri. I wish we lived closer and could share a café or cocoa xx