February 28, 2019

I washed the floors twice today, not knowing what to do with myself, really, my head is all
over the place, as is my heart.

January 24, 2019

the poet with his face in his hands

You want to cry aloud for your
mistakes. But to tell the truth the world
doesn’t need anymore of that sound.

So if you’re going to do it and can’t
stop yourself, if your pretty mouth can’t
hold it in, at least go by yourself across

the forty fields and the forty dark inclines
of rocks and water to the place where
the falls are flinging out their white sheets

like crazy, and there is a cave behind all that
jubilation and water fun and you can
stand there, under it, and roar all you

want and nothing will be disturbed; you can
drip with despair all afternoon and still,
on a green branch, its wings just lightly touched

by the passing foil of the water, the thrush,
puffing out its spotted breast, will sing
of the perfect, stone-hard beauty of everything.

—mary oliver

January 18, 2019

There is none like you Leif, every morning, for 6 years now, you wake up with the sun ready to start your day, you are full of life and your delight is infectious, just like your smile, how often do strangers stop us to comment on your beau sourire and oh once you have the attention of another don't you do everything you can to get a laugh out of them and i know it makes you happier when they leave smiling themselves. 

Leif at 6 you are wild and mischievious and emotional and open and i hope you keep letting it all shine out, love, you are making your mark Leif and this crazy world needs you and i am so thankful you are in it.

We love you Leif!

January 17, 2019

when death comes

When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse

to buy me, and snaps his purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle pox;

when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,

and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth
tending as all music does, toward silence,

and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.

When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened
or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.

—mary oliver

January 1, 2019

I am thankful for friends who loved on Leif through the holidays. I must confess I was worried he would feel lonely or forgotten but those were my worries and mine alone and he did not. 

As I write this, i am watching him dance and he is having a ball and i am laughing at the sight of him letting it all loose to Bruno Mars.

He is truly the greatest of all gifts.

November 7, 2018

Be with someone who will take care of you. Not materialistically, but takes care of your
soul, your well being, your heart and everything that's you.

—unknown author

October 14, 2018

You go on by doing the best you can. You go on by being generous. 
You go on by being true. You go on by offering comfort to others
who can't go on. You go on by allowing the unbearable days to pass
and by allowing the pleasure in other days. You go on by finding a
channel for your love and another for your rage.

—cheryl strayed