April 9, 2012

38.


We celebrated my birthday this weekend. J treated me to dinner at my favorite Thai restaurant and then to see Ben Howard in concert.

I also got a vintage Nikon 35mm film camera.

And a photo shoot.

J: Let's take some photos. We should take some photos. I promise it will be simple and natural. Promise.

Me: Okay, but please please please be kind. I'm 38 now.

He was kind. Very kind. And gentle. I walked in the field and moved and drank up the sunshine. J never asked me to face the camera. He knew that would be asking for too much. He knows this isn't an easy birthday.

Holidays and birthdays aren't the same. Life isn't the same. I might look the same but i'm not the same. J's not the same. Family. Friendships. Relationships. Our marriage. Nothing is the same. But we're together. Thank God we have each other.

***Photos by my talented husband

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Tash camera

Tash

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29 comments:

  1. Oh dear...the birthdays that just aren't the same...you are right, nothing is the same. Your husband is talented and you look amazing. I know your birthday was hard but life with eachother is certainly worth celebrating. I am sorry your heart is broken. I hope this is the beginning of a positive, hopeful year.

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  2. These photos really are beautiful. Sending you well wishes and thoughts on your birthday.

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  3. You look gorgeous!! Happy birthday.
    Blessings for more love, light and laughter xox

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  4. you are so beautiful! happiest 38th birthday, you dont look a day over 30 my friend! really beautiful.

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  5. You are so beautiful. And they are amazing photos. I hope this year is all you want it to be. Happy birthday lady. Kellie xx

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  6. Oh tash; you are incredibly beautiful. This photos are gentle and kind and honest. I see a lot of hope. I'm hoping with you xxx

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  7. Beautiful photos - he´s captured you very well. :-)

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  8. You are so beautiful through J's eyes.

    Happy birthday! Vintage 35mm? Have fun with it! xx

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  9. Beautiful photos! And happy birthday : )

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  10. Nothing is the same. But we're together. I'm so glad you have each other.
    Many, many happy returns of the day to you. You look beautiful and the photos are stunning. xo

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  11. Wow those are amazing photos!Happy B day beautiful!xo

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  12. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous!

    I know what you mean about holidays and birthdays. I'm turning 40 this year, and my stomach drops when I think about it. I don't think it I would be dreading it so much if I had Molly with me to share it. It's hard, I feel you.

    But still wishing you a happy birthday, hoping you have a much better year this year, and sending lots of love. xo

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  13. Tash you're gorgeous!

    I think of A and miss him each and every day. But the big occasions and holidays make his absence all the more significant and noticeable. It can be unbearable.

    Glad you survived the big 3-8 with J's support. Sending you love and patience.

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  14. Nothing will ever be the same... It's like when you have seen something, you can never go back and un-see it. We are forever changed.

    The photos are stunning. I hope that, despite not being how you'd hoped your birthday would be this year, you had a nice time with J.

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  15. Dear Tash Happy Birthday....Hope the Ben Howard concert was good and that your day was as special as your photoshoot..clever J I love the last shot. It was my birthday last week and we ended up punting in Oxford which was both funny and stressful in equal measure...it never ceases to amaze me how my kids are like the english weather..all sunny one minute and then cloudy the next and perhaps that is life..if we wait for the clouds and darkness to pass the sun will come out. Love as always xxx

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  16. Happy Birthday to you dear one...you are so beautiful! Your J is so talented...you are blessed to have each other. Sending you oodles of love for that heart of yours. xoxoxxoxoxo love always.

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  17. Happy birthday Tash...man your hubby is talented. Sheesh. Is he on Instagram too? :)

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  18. happy birthday, tash! these photos of you are pure and honest and lovely. I really like them.

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  19. Oh, Tash. These are so beautiful. You are beautiful. Thank you for sharing your birthday with us. Happy birthday (handing you a cyber cupcake with a candle). xoxoxo

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  20. Hello :) happy birthday. You are stunningly beautiful, what gorgeous photos. I've just been reading your story (with teary eyes) and hope as everyone does for positive news this year. Take care and hugs x

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  21. Hi Tash!! Happy birthday - you are such a beautiful 38!!
    Of course you and J and your hearts are broken and need time to heal. I am so happy that you have such a strong marriage - and I am wishing you good things for the year ahead!
    xoxo

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  22. Tash you are so beautiful!!! Your husband is a talented photographer but c'mon, you are gorgeous! Also, he isn't the only talented photographer in your duo- you take beautiful photos.

    Happy belated birthday. I hope this year is both gentle and full of hope.

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  23. You guys are TOO kind. Thank you for your wishes and beautiful messages. I hope the simple words "thank you" can be read as sincerely as they are written. xx

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  24. Amazing shots & Happy belated birthday. You are a beauty.

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  25. i don't see thirty eight, i just see a gorgeous girl.

    happy birthday.

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  26. You look so beautiful.

    A warm wish for your birthday.

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  27. awe lovie, the line about "please be kind" is just too sweet. these photos are absolutely stunning my friend! Justin's eye for beautiful light and symmetry is brilliant to see. i love the honey blond highlights too, you look amazing!!

    another metaphorical shoot. you are cloaked in dark color but the lightness is all around you and in fact it is also in the form of a halo effect as the sun streams onto your beautiful face. it is good to know you have your gentle man beside you while walking through tall grass. with both your sets of eyes i know that higher sights will be seen too. much love! xo ♥

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  28. You are lovely.. in more ways than one!

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  29. You are beautiful. Wishing Liam were here with you.
    Ronnie xo

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