June 6, 2012


Our 3rd IVF was scheduled to start at the end of the month. We had a new fertility specialist on board and a new protocol. We were given a 20% chance at conceiving through IVF and a 2% chance at conceiving naturally.

I cancelled the IVF treatment last week.

Last year, after we followed all the "rules", we learned there's no such thing as a "safe time" to share our news. So here goes.

I'm pregnant. Spontaneously. Again.

"You see, anything is possible", my doctor said.

Yes, anything is.

Whatever the numbers and statistics, whatever my age and egg count and egg quality and J's sperm count and our fertility rate and all the factors that affect our chances at conceiving, we are pregnant. What luck.

And now we hope our luck continues.

I have my first ultrasound next week and then at 12 weeks after a neural ultrasound, i'll have a cervical cerclage placed and i'll be on strict bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. My new high risk doctor is one of the best in the city, and I put myself and this little life completely in her hands. Our goal is to get us to 28 weeks, but if we can get further along, then even better.

It won't be an easy journey, but well worth it if it means we get to bring a baby home in the end.


My Liam. My heart. This time last year we announced his pregnancy without a worry in the world, and today we quietly, cautiously announce another. I don't know how we beat the 2% odds a second time. I don't know if we will bring a baby home this time.

All I know is that today, i'm pregnant. I'm hopeful. And God it feels good.

>>>>> This photo makes me feel hopeful. We took it last month and I thought it was fitting.

DSC7676 2


  1. Oh Tash- tears in my eyes, such beautiful news. It is hard to be tentatively hopeful. So amazing to beat the odds and so tragic that the odds were not in Liams favor for him to be a living baby. Odds are a weird thing when we have been on the bad side of statistics. Hope, it's what keeps us going. I think I wrote that to you recently. I am so glad to hear your news and I am right here hoping with you. It is a tough rode ahead, filled with anxiety and fear but also of love and hope and possibility. Let's hope together. I am holding your heart and your hand from a distance.

  2. I´m happy for you - try not to worry (hard, I realize that) but instead enjoy every moment. I´ll keep you in my thoughts. :-)

  3. I'm so happy for you and full of hope, just hoping and wishing so much for you.

    And I'm just so sorry that it had to be this way, that Liam had to die. I think that question, why?, is one that never really goes away. Like you, I have had amazing luck and horrible bad luck. Beaten the odds and had them stacked against me and mine.

    Wishing you the very best in the world and sending so much love and hope x

  4. Tash, there are no words....i don't know why the struggles and heart breaks hit but oh how my heart now soars for you both that you are pregnant!!!! i believe Liam is especially close by you and the baby now, watching over you both. no pressure little Liam, but i bet you will champion your sweet momma through everything coming up.

    when i look at that photo the 1st thing i think of is that heaven does exist on earth. you both are evidence of that fact.

    blessings and love to you both Tash, i'm thrilled with warm tears rising up about your news today! sending love, xo ♥

  5. That is such wonderful news, Tash. Sending prayers your way for a healthy pregnancy.

  6. That is fantastic news! So so happy for you. Sending lots of love to you both xxx

  7. I am beyond thrilled for you!! This is such amazing news for you and J : )

    I know it is a long road - but so many of us will keep you in our thoughts along the way!!

    You will need some blogging while you are on bed rest for sure - so we will have to be in touch. xoxo sending hugs your way, Ashlyn

  8. Such wonderful news - I know it's only the start of a new journey but ooooooo I'm so happy for you! Lot's of love and prayers x

  9. CONGRATULATIONS! god is with you. and he is good.

    sending my prayers.

  10. Oh Tash, I've got tingles running through my body reading your news. And tears in my eyes. (And it's a little embarrassing because I'm sitting at my desk at work.) I am thrilled for you. How extraordinary. I can't begin to imagine the mixture of emotions you're feeling, but I'm sending you all my best wishes for this pregnancy, you amazing woman. Kellie xxxx

  11. Oh, this is good news. Congratulations! I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and wish you all the very best. I hope the weeks fly by and that healthy baby is in your arms in no time. xxx

  12. oh my goodness, what wonderful news! I send my biggest congratulations and best wishes from down under. Much love xx

  13. OHMYGOODNESS! This is the happiest news! I can't stop smiling :-D. Big congratulations to you and J. Love to you x

  14. Oh Tash - I wish I had a phone number for you so I could call and personally tell you how thrilled I am for you both - you guys deserve this so much!

    I'm not sure if you're familiar with Katie's story from 'grow cook sew'? I think you will find it comforting xx growcooksew.blogspot.com

    Warmest congratulations to you and lots of love and wishes from accross the oceans... Claire, Paddy and Lalie x

  15. Oh, sweetie. My whole heart just filled up my whole body with warmth. I am so happy for you. Take that 2% chance!

    Sending buckets and truckloads of love

  16. This is the first real opportunity I've had to write anything today, and I wanted to come here first and give you and J my heartfelt congratulations. I'm so glad you shared your news, and the happiness and hope I feel for you is over the top. Now you are a family of four, and the love grows.

    I hope so much that everything goes smoothly for you, my sweet friend, and please know that I will be here, cheering you on and providing support whenever I can.

    Sending you big virtual hugs, and holding precious Liam, so missed, and the new bébé close, close, close to my heart. <3

  17. Life certainly has a way surprising us. What a wonderful surprise this is. Wishing you a healthy and uneventful pregnancy.


  18. Awsome news!!! I know the journey is long and we have to wait, wait, wait and hope, hope, hope as there are no garuarantees but this is such great news and I am happy to hear you are starting this journey again.
    Codie and I got naturally pregnant as well just before treatment, they told us the chances of the that were again just as low and that it would take us years to concieve, that is if we did at all and now we are on this journey naturally as well. I have to wonder about fertility docs sometimes. xoxoxoxo

  19. TASH! I want to shout I am so overjoyed! My sincerest congratulations to you both and your families. We are here for you in anyway you need us on this journey. Feel the support of a huge collective blogosphere hug.

    Keeping you in my thoughts, baby number two in my heart and remembering big brother Liam always.

  20. Awesome, awesome, awesome news.

    Step 1/100 is complete. Celebrating cautiously with you.

  21. Ack, so horribly late to this. I want you to know I am hopeful for you. I'm also full of happiness (as well as a hefty dose of fear) for you.
    Sending you so much love and HOPING all the way.

  22. Thank you so much for your hopes and wishes. I would have preferred to respond to each of you but i'm still trying to figure out how to add a respond to comment feature on this blog.

    Thank you Claire, i've been following Katie along on her journey yes, and I emailed her a few days ago. Her story brings me comfort and so much hope. xx

  23. Oh MY great...Oh MY universe....Oh MY heart....(and of course yours too!)

    This is such wonderful news...I am so happy for you, for today, for right now. Who knows how this all will turn out....but for today, we have hope and we have happiness.

    And that is truly great.

    HUGE hugs and kisses to all 2.5 of you..:*)

  24. Oh I am so happy and hopeful for you, your husband, Liam and this new little life. I'm sending all the love and luck in the world!

  25. I am soooooooo happy for you Tash.......I knew you would make this happen...tears are running down my cheeks....this is the start of your new journey..stay confident, positive, focused...everything will be fine:):):) xxx

  26. This was the most wonderful thing I could read right now!!

    I'm so elated, and hope for a healthy pregnancy and delivery.

    This gives me hope and clears the clouds of my infertility fears as we`ve been trying for 6 months with no luck!! Thank you so much for sharing this news, because I`m much less worried now.


  27. So happy for you both. I'll be thinking of you.

  28. If you can beat the odds it gives me hope. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you a safe and healthy journey.

  29. congratulations! Oh my heart is so happy for you, I will pray your you and your baby, sending you love, hope and best wishes!

  30. Tash, I just saw your comment on the previous post, you're so lovely.
    I only saw this post last night so am so happy for you and J.

  31. It all works in the most bizarre and beautiful and heartbreaking and heart making ways doesn't it? congratulations, sweet girl.

  32. AnonymousJune 12, 2012

    congratulations so happy for you.
    i am sure that this time everything is going to be ok.
    i will be praying for you and your baby every day.

    Katerina FF

  33. So many congratulations to you both Tash. You deserve so much happiness. Much love xxx

  34. Just discovered your blog. Congratulations on your wonderful news and I hope all goes well for you in the coming months after your heartbreaking loss. I noticed someone else above mentioned Katie from Grow Cook Sew. She has been on bed rest for her pregnancy so far after a similar situation/story to your own.

  35. I am so happy for you. Have you been to the doctor? Any updates? Love to you, keeping you in my thoughts.


  36. Wow I have goosebumps! I am just going to whisper an "eeeek!" of excitement and then button it - I know exactly how hard this journey will be... anxious, exhausting, hopeful, even exciting at times... and sometimes all of those things rolled into one.

    So here's hoping that you can you carefully step through each day, in a very boring, uneventful way, to a grand old gestation.

    I'll be keeping everything crossed. Much love. xx