October 25, 2012
We are at 26 weeks. He has an 80% chance of survival now.
Of course I know it isn't just a matter of being at a certain gestation. I know there are so many factors that play into whether a baby will survive.
Here in Montréal, doctors typically start using intensive medical intervention to try to save a preemie at 24 weeks. Last year, we missed the cutoff point by just a few days. The morning before I went into labor, the doctor told us that we would be transferred to a hospital with a neonatal intensive care unit in two days time. I developed a fever that evening and the contractions started. Liam was born the next afternoon. He was perfectly healthy and stronger than the doctors thought, but they didn't have the necessary equipment to help him. Liam never got his chance. My beautiful, brave little boy never got his 30%.
I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, and really, neither do you. Nobody knows what will happen even in the next moment.
But here I am 26 weeks pregnant. This is huge for us. Every week is a milestone, and after 19+ weeks of bedrest, i'll take the statistic. I'll take the 80% and whatever else is next.
People ask about the bedrest and how i'm feeling.
I do everything lying on my side. I'm not allowed to sit up. I get up only to use the bathroom. I take one seated shower per week for a maximum of 10 minutes. I take progesterone hormones to help prevent premature labor. I take medication to help prevent blood clots. I take stool softeners and suppositories. I take 7 different vitamins. I call my doctor every week to update her on how i'm doing. For appointments, J carries me to the car and lies me down on the backseat to transport me.
There isn't anything fun about this pregnancy. I depend on others to care for me. I worry all the time. I'm brittle. Tired. This living week-to-week and counting down and watching my every move in this bed is exhausting. Physically, mentally and emotionally, i'm drained.
But I know why I need to stay very still in this bed. I know who i'm doing this for, and i'm beyond grateful for him every day.
\Giving him every chance
\Handmade dream catcher by Séverine, a lovely Montréal artist. She weaved two crystals into the web, one for me and one for my baby